


M/M Stands For Man/Minion

by kkei2



Category: Big Bang (Band), Despicable Me (Movies), K-pop, Minions (2015), NCT (Band)
Genre: Angst, Attempt at Humor, BC New Heroes is gay culture, Bad Fic, Blood and cornettos, Canon Gay Relationship, Cheesy, Coffee Shops, Costume Kink, Crack Treated Seriously, Cults, Disapproving Family, Drugs, Family Feels, Fate & Destiny, Fluff and Crack, Fun, Funny, Gay, I Don't Even Know, Love, Love at First Sight, Lovey-Dovey, M/M, Making Out, Melodrama, Memes, Passion, Please Don't Hate Me, Religion, Sassy, Sexual Tension, Silly, Sorry Not Sorry, Soulmates, Star-crossed, Team as Family, Ten is Gay Jesus fsr, The Author Regrets Nothing, True Love, Trust Issues, Tumblr, Vines, Weird Plot Shit, Weirdness, Why is Taeyong Lowkey Evil in This?, YouTube
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-06
Updated: 2018-04-11
Packaged: 2019-04-19 12:40:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,665
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14237508
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kkei2/pseuds/kkei2
Summary: A man, a minion, and a love that could never be.“69/10” -Jae





	1. In the Beginning

**Author's Note:**

> So I wrote this late at night while suffering from jet lag since the hotel was charging $16 a day for Wi-Fi. Yes, this was typed as a draft in gmail, so the formatting is terrible. As for "multi-chapter," that's only BC I wrote the other half elsewhere and now I can't find it.

For something so complicated, love starts with the simplest things. The way someone tucks their hair behind their ears, their laughter, the warmth of their palm against your cheek.  
It was the goofy smile that did it for Yuta. Or maybe those stubby little arms, the sensuous curves of that tictac body, yellow like a sexy lemon. Seeing it there, standing on the side of the road, changed something in Yuta. There was a quickening, and his heart seemed to seise up for a moment, and in that moment he met the one eye of the most beautiful creature he had ever seen.  
“Yababa!" the creature called to him as he stood there, dumbstruck. So controversial and so daring. Yuta tried to reply but his tongue was leaden in his mouth.  
The world around them had vanished, until it was just him and this tiny pill-shaped god.  
“Banana?" the minion inquired.  
"I'm- fine, thank you,” he gasped, having finally recovered from his shock enough to speak. They stood there, lost in their own worlds for a second, before Yuta overcame the spell the minion had cast on him and turned away. This wasn't meant to be.

That night, at the dinner table, Yuta found himself unable to eat. Everything tasted like ash in his mouth without the minion there to enjoy it with him. He sat staring dully down at his plate when Mark sat down beside him.  
"Something wrong?" Mark asked, while shoveling ramen(microwaved, of course, the way classy people do) into his mouth. Yuta closed his eyes in an attempt to escape back to that perfect world he had slipped into this morning.  
"Nothing's wrong. I'm just a little tired is all."  
"I know what it is!" That would be Ten, of course, plopping himself down at the table and leaning towards them conspiratorially. "He's in love."  
"In love??" Chenle had appeared out of nowhere. "Eeeewwwww."  
The room filled with chatter as the rest of Yuta's dormmates drifted in to make dinner and hear the news.  
"Definitely," Ten replied, steepling his fingers. "I can see it in the way he looks at everything. The world looks different when you're in love , doesn't it?"  
Yuta was about to make a reply when Mark put down his noodle cup and make a gesture at Ten.  
"Ten, sweetie, are you...aware of what your shirt says?"  
Ten tugged at his "God is Gay" croptop. "I don't know, Mark, am I?"  
"Care to elaborate on that?"  
"No."  
"You guys!" Yuta slammed his fist down on the table and the chatter stopped, but not before someone muttered, "Woah, someone's not having a good day, are they?"  
"Is there something you need to tell us?" someone asked meekly. Taeyong, now putting his hand on Yuta's shoulder. "If you like someone-”  
“It’s not like that, exactly,” Yuta sighed. “It was only for a moment. We'll probably never see each other again.” just speaking these words filled him with despair. He put his head in his hands and he began to cry softly at the impossibility of his feelings. Taeyong rubbed his back and spoke soothingly, but it was clear he wanted to hear more details. 

Lying in his bed and staring at the ceiling, Yuta came to a conclusion. What he had felt back there was truly special, and he was not going to let it run away from him. This time he wasn't backing down but seeing this through to the end. Perhaps this great love would end in tragedy, but at least it would still be love.

He arrived at the corner where they had met at six o' clock in the morning. The others had told him this was foolish, but they were just jealous that he had already met his soulmate. Whether he met this soulmate again remained to he seen. He sat back in a coffee shop, watching the sidewalk frantically.  
At last, around eight, his dove emerged from a store on the other side of the street and trudged over to its usual spot, where it began to greet the children.  
He was just about to get up when the thing turned his way, and he swore it looked straight at him. His breath caught in his throat and a knot began to form deep within him. He had forgotten what it felt like to be held under the beautiful pellet's spell. Now was his chance. He rose and made his way towards his destiny.

"Wabalaba," the minion greeted him, and Yuta struggled to keep a straight face.  
"A good morning to you too." There was a moment of silence during which Yuta inched closer.  
"So...Nice day out, huh?" It was raining.  
"Beebuh," the minion agreed.  
"Yeah..." Yuta scratched his chin. "You mind if I stand here?" Yes! He'd gone and done it! His first move had been made.  
"Beebaa." The minion made a dismissive gesture. Yuta clapped his hands delightedly and took his place beside his love.  
Thus began Yuta's new daily ritual. Every morning, around six, he would slip out for a few hours and stand beside the minion making awkward and fairly one-sided conversation, until the minion had a break at twelve. He wasn't really sure what the minion did at break. What did minions even eat? Anyway, he never stuck around to find out, because he had practise at 12:15 every day. After that, he'd slip out again until the minion went back in for the final time at five. The minion was always a lot friendlier in the evenings. Once it even giggled when he asked it if it had any interest in getting a coffee with him. It had taken him by surprise but he wasn't about to complain.  
Three weeks went by like this in a whirlwind. Yuta was sure that any day now he'd be ready to tell his soulmate his true feelings, and it was the exact wording of his confession that he was pondering when he bumped into someone on his way back to the dorms that night.  
"Oh, hey Taeyong," he said distractedly. He tried to pass and was met with an arm held firmly in his way.  
"Hey, Yuta," Taeyong responded. His voice was stern and unyielding. "I think we need to talk about something."  
"We...Do?" Yuta replied weakily. Taeyong gestured to the sofa and they both sat awkwardly.  
"You've been falling behind a bit in practise lately..." Taeyong began. "And you've sure been in a hurry to leave. You're gone all day, and even when you are here, your mind is elsewhere. It's bothering some of us. We feel like you're drifting away from us."  
"Well, I'm sorry that you guys feel that way?" Yuta shrugged.  
"Whatever you've been doing, I'm going to politely ask you to stop. I know that with a guy at your age I'm better off not knowing where you are, and that's fine, but if it's going to drive us apart, or to cause you problems in practise, then it's not."  
Yuta stared at Taeyong in disbelief. His leader, the one he depended on, was trying to keep him apart from his true love.  
"I'm sorry, but I can't do that." Yuta stood abruptly, knocking the pillows from the sofa. Taeyong tried to grab his hand, but he was too late.  
"Yuta!" Taeyong yelled after him. "You can't keep this up. It's tearing you apart!"  
Yuta slammed the bathroom door behind him. His reflection greeted him warily, and it was then that he saw what the others had been seeing. His eyes were bloodshot and there were deep half-moons weighing them down, his face absolutely haggard from the long nights he spent pining and thinking about the next time he would see his angel.  
Taeyong was only looking out for him after all. Perhaps it would be better to bring this impossible love to an end. 

When he woke up it was already 4:40 in the afternoon. Yuta rubbed the sleep out of his eyes. Why hadn't anyone come to wake him up for practise? Then another thought struck him and he sat bolt upright. He had to go talk to his one and only to break the sad news. It wasn't as if they had actually ever been together, but they really seemed to have something going on between them. 

He raced down the street, crashing into the pedestrians in his panic. When he at last arrived at the corner, he caught a glance of the minion, just about to go back into the store.  
"Wait!" he called. The creature paused at the door and turned to face him as he stood there trying to catch his breath. "Please..." He was about to start the schpiel he had prepared about focusing on practise but the words died on his tongue as the giant Tic-Tac took his hand in its.  
“Yabadaba,” it crooned, and Yuta wiped tears from his eyes.  
"Will you..Will you go out with me?"  
The minion stiffened as Yuta stumbled backwards, betrayed by his own tongue. "I meant—no-I–”  
“Banana!" the minion cried joyfully and hugged him. Yuta silently returned the embrace, tears welling in his eyes again. "I'll see you tomorrow afternoon?"  
The minion dipped its head in agreement before disappearing into the store. After it was gone, Yuta stood in shock at what had just happened. The only thing he knew for certain was that Taeyong was going to kill him. 

"This is probably my favourite part of the city. Once you're in the centre you start to forget there's anything beyond all the concert and asphalt, but up here... It's like your own personal forest." Yuta picked a flower from one of the beds lining the walkway and handed it to the minion, who giggled in delight. "Do you like it? This place?" Yuta asked anxiously.  
His date hummed in agreement.  
"Good. I was a little worried that I was boring you."  
"No!"  
"Huh?" Yuta took a step back.  
"No no noo noo?" the minion said tentatively. It reached for his hand and began to lead him towards a shady spot under a tree, right in the middle of the park. They sat down on a bench beneath the tree, where the minion began to fiddle with the flower in its hand.  
Sitting there and watching the minion filled Yuta with a sudden desire. The way the sapped sunlight filtered into that smooth flesh, the clumsy movements of those little hands... He sucked in a deep breath and looked around, hoping to dispel his unquiet thoughts.  
"Woolooba?" There was a hand on Yuta's shoulder and he could hold it in no longer. The minion gave a little squawk when he leaned over and gave it a juicy kiss on the cheek. "Banana!" it said nervously, but it did not stop him from placing more kisses across its buttery face. Yuta was in heaven as he leaned up against the thing, pressing his love into it with every kiss. If only perfect moments like these lasted forever.

"So you're telling me you made out with some giant yellow monstrosity in the park, within full view of anyone who cared to notice?" Johnny raised an eyebrow at Yuta as he stirred his soda with a straw. "Dude, if that starts any rumours, you deserve them.”  
“It can't be that bad, can it?" asked Win-win, who was nervously rubbing a bottle of water. "As long as he's happy?"  
"Come on, Winnie. You must be as batshit crazy as this guy. Did you miss out that whole part with him being in love with a minion mascot? They were probably, like, the least entertaining part of the franchise, even before they were marketed to hell and the actually decent parts of the films were lost in the crossfire.”  
“So maybe minions shouldn't have been as heavily marketed as they were,” Yuta admitted reluctantly, “but you've got to admit that they're kind of cute.”  
“Ive got to admit that the obnoxious tictacs are cute? Not enough to make out with one, I'll tell you that,” Johnny grumbled. “Stop molesting that poor water bottle why don't you, Winwin?"  
Winwin dropped the water immediately before turning back to Yuta. "Aren't we forgetting something fairly important here?"  
"Huh?"  
"The fact that minions... don't exist? So Yuta was probably making out with some guy in a sweaty suit."  
Yuta blinked in astonishment, causing Johnny to choke on his Sprite.  
"You didn't know? And I thought the entire point of this was that he made out with someone in a minion costume, which is bad enough. But thinking it was a real honest to goodness minion? Yuta, I take back what I said about you being crazy. You're stupid as shit."  
"Let's not be hurtful," Winwin warned, but he was trying not to laugh.  
Yuta stood up, tears welling in his eyes. "I didn't make out with some random guy in a costume! That thing and I– we have something special. You just don't understand!" With that he turned and fled, leaving Winwin and Johnny at the table in silence.  
After a moment Winwin said, "Do you think maybe we should...call a psychiatrist?"  
"Definitely," Johnny replied gravely.


	2. Minion Mania

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So I finally got around to this! The shocking finale! I honestly don't think this is as good as the first part but it's still got your favourite minion-humping Japanese man and his Tic-tac boo so oh well!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In celebration of my magnum opus's upcoming anniversary, I've decided to do a bit of editing! Please enjoy the somewhat more accurate grammar and some of that sweet, sweet twenty nineteen (twenty mine teen) slang.

Blinded by his tears, Yuta burst out of the dorms and sprinted headlong into the street. He had no idea where he was going but his legs took him along some secret route. He ran until his lungs gave out and he had to catch his breath next to a dumpster. As he stared at the ground and wheezed like Ryan Bergara having an asthma attack, he noticed a flyer lying on the ground by the dumpster and bent over to pick it up.  
Got Romantic Problems? I Can Help You, it read, followed by an address close to where he was. Nice. Just vague enough to be both sinister and intriguing.  
Normally he would’ve ignored this, because who can imagine someone as him having romantic issues? Yuta tossed his hair back and looked around him. These were special circumstances.  
The door the address gave him looked more like the entrance to a yoga studio than someone who gave relationship advice, but he took his chances and pushed it open.  
“Oh, it's Yuta! What a surprise, pleasant or otherwise” said a familiar voice.

Yuta stared at the young men sitting in a circle around Ten, gazing at him in adoration.  
“Who are these people?” he asked nervously.  
“My disciples.” Ten’s eyes glittered mysteriously. One of the men crawled forward and bowed his head to Ten.  
“I seek your wisdom, master, and that of your followers.”  
“Ask your question and it shall be given.”  
With that the man raised his head and looked around at the ring of worshippers.  
“Fellas, is it gay to be in a loving romantic relationship with another man?”  
“Not if you say no homo afterwards,” the others chanted in unison, and Ten smiled.  
“Very good. Now, let me speak to the nonbeliever.” He rose from the circle and led Yuta into a small office space behind the yoga room.  
“Are you in a cult?” Yuta hissed.  
“Nah, more like a club.”  
“Club of what?”  
“Club of Gay Jesus, I guess.”  
“First of all, that definitely sounds like a cult. Second of all, who's gay Jesus?”  
“Me, you dumbass.” Ten gestured to a chair and they sat across from each other. “That's why you came to ask me for help, isn't it?”  
“ Um, no? Your little flyer said nothing about a gay Jesus cult.”  
Ten heaved a heavy sigh and sat back in his chair. “Yeah, I was originally going to include more information but I was informed that mentioning anything about being the homosexual messiah might scare away potential customers.  
“Well, it sort of sounds like some sort of kidnapper's way of tricking very dumb people into his sex dungeon,” Yuta pointed out, which earned him a laugh from Ten.  
“I don't have to trick people into my sex dungeon, sweetie, but if I were to, it seems like you'd be one of those dumb people. Now, what do you want to ask me? Keep in mind that-”  
Before Ten could finish, someone burst into the office, nearly knocking Yuta out of his chair.  
“There's something called knocking, Haechan,” Ten muttered, smoothing down his ruffled hair.  
Haechan stood in the middle of the room panting and looking between the two of them in confusion.  
“Wait, you're the guys running this?”  
“I am,” Ten replied. “Tell me what you want.”  
“I think I like someone-” Haechan began before Ten cut in.  
“Guy or girl? No offense to the heteros, but I didn't return to earth just to give them a free ride.”  
“Guy, which is exactly what my problem is. I don't think that he…”  
“Oh, crushing on a straight guy,” Ten groaned, and Yuta nodded in agreement just so he could feel like he was somehow participating in all this. “Wait, who is it? Most people I know give off at least some queer vibes, and my gaydar is 100% accurate. Perks of being Gay Jesus. Hmmmmm...Could it be Mark? I can't seem to get a handle on that kid, but as of late he's been giving off such aggressively heterosexual vibes that I am THIS close to going absolutely feral and attacking his Canadian ass. Or dare I say Jisung? I don't get anything from him except extreme malevolence and a deep, troubling sense of foreboding…” Ten drifted off into deep contemplation.  
“It doesn't matter who it is, just tell me what to do,” Haechan begged.  
“I'm so sorry, but even I have my limits,” Ten admitted. “Does anyone know what to do when they like someone who's probably straight except suffer in silence?”  
Haechan looked crushed but accepted this answer. If Gay Messiah Ten couldn't help him, nobody could.  
“Good luck, honey, and don’t forget to buy my new song! I need that coin,” Ten cooed as he waved Haechan out.  
It was then that he turned his attentions back to Yuta, who had been waiting anxiously.  
“Sorry about that little interruption, but what would you like to ask me again? Remember what I told Haechan. No dudes, no deal.”  
Yuta gulped and considered WinWin and Johnny’s reaction to his confession earlier.  
“I love someone a lot, but other people...don’t agree with my love.”  
“Big mood. Keep going.”  
“I really think we were meant to be together, but at the same time I’m not really willing to sacrifice my friends for this. What should I do?”  
Ten gave Yuta a piercing look and leaned closer. “You’re really sure you love this person?”  
“Yes.”  
“Then you should go to them. True love only comes once in a lifetime. Don’t let this one be the one that got away, alright? Friends come and go, but your one and only is forever. You can’t back down.” His voice had started to go shaky towards the end and when he was finished he put his head in his hands.  
“Are you...okay?” Yuta asked.  
“Fine. Totally fine. Just being a tragic gay, thanks.”  
Yuta stared uncomfortably at the almost-crying man across from him before deciding to get up.  
“Thanks for the advice, dude. I’m going to take it.”  
“You’re welcome...Just-don’t forget...Buy New Heroes. It slaps every time, bitch, I swear,” Ten mumbled tearily.  
“Uh, yeah,” Yuta responded, glancing around in discomfort before getting himself the hell out of there.  
Yuta wandered through the streets for a while, considering what he should do. He pondered Ten’s words from earlier, and the more he thought about it, the more a tight feeling built in his chest. He couldn’t let this slip through his fingers, so he turned and made his way towards the corner where his love awaited him.

“Please stop crying, man. I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings. There’s really no need to cry.” The man at the cashier counter waved his hands around uselessly in an attempt to get Yuta to calm down. “He’s not here anymore because he was charged with selling crack to children, okay? There’s still my afternoon shift employee. Why are you even upset about some guy in a stank costume anyway?”  
“Bring him baaaaack,” Yuta wailed, throwing himself down on the counter. The cashier recoiled.  
“I’m telling you, dude, there is no reason to be so worked up. I’ve got someone coming in right now who’ll put on the silly suit, alright?” He pressed a button on his name badge and hissed, “Can I get a team out here right now? We’ve got a Code Yellow. I repeat, Code Yellow. Now, now, buddy, it’s going to be alright.” He patted a snuffling Yuta gingerly on the head while looking around frantically for his backup.  
He was beginning to despair ever escaping from this psycho before someone came out of the backroom, donning the minion costume in all its resplendent glory, like a yellow and blue sunrise. “Thank you, Lordy Jesus,” he muttered under his breath when the crying Japanese man splayed across his counter perked up. The minion guided him outside and into the back alley like it was coaxing a hurt pet and the poor cashier man heaved a sigh. He couldn’t believe he was getting minimum wage for all this. 

“Taadaa,” the minion soothed, before emitting a hysterical and frankly manical laugh. Yuta nodded and wiped away his tears.  
“I’m so sorry about that. For a moment I thought you were gone forever. But you’re here now. My love…” He trailed off when he realised what he had just said. “I can call you that, right? I’m not quite sure where we stand in this relationship.”  
In response, the minion whispered “Babadum,” in a husky voice and pushed Yuta up against the alley wall.  
“Oh, well, hello there,” he laughed nervously. In reality, he was afraid. Afraid of losing control as the minion leaned over him and let him kiss its fuzzy face. “I was foolish to ever ask Ten for advice,” he mumbled between kisses. “How could I ever consider not being with you? Screw Taeyong, and Jhony, and Winwin. All I need is you.”  
He drew the great yellow beast in closer when there was a great crash behind them. Jaehyun had just stepped out from behind a dumpster, looking like a rabid raccoon.  
“Holy Jesusfuck,” he gasped. Yuta quickly pushed the minion away from him and leaned against the wall, breathing heavily.  
“What the hell are you doing here?” he wheezed.  
“I just...wanted some milk,” Jaehyun explained, backing away. “From...the...convenience store. Definitely not eating trash. This alley is my shortcut, so I can have more time to do fun activities such as not consuming refuse. But hey, guess I take the long way.” He laughed like he was being held at gunpoint by a very unfunny magician. “I, uh, won’t tell Taeyong any of this if you don’t tell him you saw me here. I’m supposed to be watching the kids right now.” He gave one last pained giggle before turning and sprinting in the opposite direction.  
Yuta looked back at his lover in confusion. “Should we...continue where we left off?”

Yuta was living his best life. Though he could no longer see his boo in the mornings (‘until we can find a new guy,’ the cashier had said, whatever that meant), he still went to visit every afternoon, and they would spend their days in coffee shops. At one point the manager had tracked down the minion and told him to stop slacking off, but Yuta had taken his angel’s hand and suddenly the blood had drained in the man’s face. He wasn’t sure quite what this reaction was. Maybe it was the power of love. Whatever the case, it made people leave them alone.  
Then, one day, he planned a very special surprise. Early that morning he went out and bought everything he needed before heading over to see his boo.  
Everything was going perfectly until he walked into his favourite bubble tea place, hand in hand with his soulmate, and his heart stopped. There, leaning against the counter and chatting, were Lucas, Jeno, and...Taeyong. Lucas was the first to look up.  
“Hey, what the fuck are you doing with that yellow thing, Yuta?” he asked cheerily. Yuta was unable to return his enthusiasm as he saw Taeyong pause in his conversation with Jeno and turn towards him in slow motion. The Japanese man gulped as his leader locked eyes with him.  
“Hello, Lucas,” he managed to say through a quicky constricting throat. Taeyong regarded him in silence, and Yuta felt the minion’s hand tighten in his. “I’m here on a date. With my boyfriend.”  
“Oh, is your boyfriend inside there?” Lucas came closer and started to inspect the minion. “Why’s he wearing this old sack?”  
“I think you misunderstood me,” Yuta replied through gritted teeth. Lucas blinked innocently.  
“Really? I-”  
“So this is what you’ve been getting up to,” came a cold voice. Lucas immediately fell silent. “I knew when I talked to Johnny and Winwin that they were hiding something. Jaehyun too, the shifty bastard. Did you hear he was going out and buying peach milk when he told he was looking after the kids? I guess we all have our shortcomings.” Taeyong stood before them, his eyes narrowed. “You know I’m not the type to get angry, Yuta, but. What. The. Fuck.”  
Yuta backed away, the warmth of the minion’s hand in his giving him the confidence to look into his leader’s smouldering eyes.  
“I’ll tell you what. I’LL TELL YOU WHAT.” With that, he turned to the minion, releasing its hand to pull what he had been keeping in his back pocket and dropping to one knee.  
“Darling, will you marry me?”  
Everyone in the coffee shop was looking at them. Taeyong, Lucas, and Jeno all wore identical expressions of shock. Yuta took a deep breath as he waited for his dearest’s reply.  
“I thought you’d never ask!” It was then that everything really fell apart. The minion threw off his head and Yuta fell backwards in terror. An animalistic screech tore through his throat as he scrambled for the fallen head. His love! His life!  
“Holy guacamole,” Lucas gasped, and Yuta looked up at the headless corpse, vision blurred with tears already burning in his eyes. Except it wasn’t headless.  
“You! What did you do to him? How could you do something so terrible?” he screamed at the grinning face of G-Dragon.  
“Huh?” G-Dragon’s fake nose wrinkled. “Are you not happy to see me. Oh dear, this is not swag. Yes! I said yes! I’ll marry you! Didn’t you say it yourself, that we were meant to be? Just like I’m a G to the D?”  
Yuta let out another screech, this time sounding more like a wounded pterodactyl. If he had had one, he would’ve shot a gun into the air like Danny in Hot Fuzz. Unfortunately for him, South Korea has significantly more gun control than the US of A. What a tragedy.  
“WOAH!” The coffee shop was now full of chatter as Johnny stepped out from behind the counter holding his phone, along with the rest of the members. “Man, I was expecting it to be a sexy lady or something inside that costume.”  
“That’s ridiculous,” Mark muttered. “You told me that you thought it was an old man.”  
“You all owe me ten bucks!” Jungwoo crowed triumphantly, and the others sighed before turning out their pockets.  
Yuta and G-Dragon stood(or rather one stood, and one lay curled in a ball on the floor) awkwardly among it all until G-Dragon sat down heavily on the floor.  
“Banana?” he asked, pulling one from the sweaty trousers of his costume.  
“Thanks,” Yuta answered bitterly, and they chewed through the rest of the chaos in silence.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> congrats y'all!! You got through this!! Praise Gay Jesus that I finally got this out of the way, but now I've got to work on yet another badfic, 'Thot Patrol.' No spoilers, but it will probably include the words "Rise and grind, it's time to eat today's ass." Also, Ten was right. New Heroes DOES slap.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading this garbage. I congratulate you for getting this far. If you wanna talk to me my Twitter is @Kkeii8 (please talk to me I'm desperate and lonely), or not if this story made you hate my guts.


End file.
